Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
