just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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