Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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