I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize