Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
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