It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
