all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Randomize
