PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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