Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
