High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
