A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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