brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
