does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
please come you make the beer taste better
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
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He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
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Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
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