and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
