i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
They also submitted to my demands for pizza