Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome