She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
