if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
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It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
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our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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