Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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