i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
