all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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