this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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