There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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