I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
