the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
