This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
