3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Randomize
