I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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