I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize