Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
