Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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