She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
