trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
