Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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