If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
My breasts were aching with rage.
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