there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
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