Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
