I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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