What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
