I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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