i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize