i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
