Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
