Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
