Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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