All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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