For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
