just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
