The brown eye won't let me do that either.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
