Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
