you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
