If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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