What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
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I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
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Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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