Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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