I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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