Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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