Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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