i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
