a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize