Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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