$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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