she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
