I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize