I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
