She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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