Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize