I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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