There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
