I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
did i walk over a car last night?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
